What poisons morality is that evil is easier than good. Evil, indeed, need only be done once for it to be done forever – if there is little forgiveness for it. Whereas good does not accumulate, and having done it once does not exempt one from doing and redoing it again. Thus the soldier who betrays, delivering his friends to the enemy, becomes a traitor, is a traitor and will remain one, whereas the poor person who gives to someone poorer than themselves accomplishes a good deed, admirable even, as admirable as that of the poor swimmer who jumps despite his fear into the torrent to save a child, but neither one nor the other is, from that moment on, generous or courageous forever. A small shortcoming of the French language reveals this with respect to gratitude: negatively, one is ungrateful if one has not once shown the slightest recognition to anyone for a benefit received, but positively, if one has already done so, honestly and sincerely, one is not forever… a "grateful person" (grat). Gratitude has ingratitude as its opposite, but in French, ungrateful has no antonym (existing in other languages: grateful, grato, agradecido). Should we conclude from this that gratitude is a "flickering" virtue, that it cannot become a "state", a modality of being (hence the expression "je vous sais gré", in place of "je vous suis gré"), a stable moral inclination, and even less a "character trait"? How could it have been described – by Cicero – as the "mother of all virtues", if it manifests itself "by reaction", if it is aroused by a benefit received, a favour that comes to us from others, if it is "secondary", if it thus lacks this "force of beginnings", inaugural, proper to all virtue, and to love in particular?That gratitude derives from the Latin gratitudo – namely a disposition or a feeling of affection and recognition for a gift, a favour or a benefit received, accompanied by the sincere intention to repay it – is self-evident. It is worth exploring the word further, coming thus from gratus, "grateful". If the noun gratitudo is monosemous – meaning only recognition, memory of the benefit received – the adjective gratus, on the other hand, refers to several meanings: a sense one could call objective, associating it with what one finds to one's liking, what is "gradito", approved, pleasant, agreeable, appreciated, welcome – what the persona non grata is not – and the subjective sense of "being grateful", even obliged or indebted. The two meanings are not divergent, however: recognition is not dissociated from a feeling of pleasure, of satisfaction, insofar as the favour received was not asked for and is not subject to any condition, neither psychological, nor moral nor pecuniary: it is therefore – here the related terms cluster – "gracious", gratuitous, gratis, gratifying, and one can congratulate oneself on having obtained it and congratulate the generous giver, tell them grazie. Italian ringraziare or Spanish dar la gracias link to the family, whereas the French remercier and merci derive from merces, meaning first "price", salary, reward, ransom, then "favour", pity (without mercy), dependence (to be at the mercy of), "grace" (God merci, asking mercy) and "render grace to", that is to thank, while English thanks and German Danke both carry a kinship with "think", to think, denken, probably in the sense of "think of", "not forget" the good done to us, to be thankful or dankbar. The linguistic paths that lead to the "thank you" of gratitude are infinite!All these expressions actually touch one or other of the three "levels" that Saint Thomas Aquinas saw in gratitude: recognising the benefit received, praising the giver, giving them "grace" and thanking them, finally, according to possibilities or opportunities, making it one's duty and an "obligation" to give in return, repay the favour (which the Portuguese thank you expresses: obrigado).All the virtue of love lies in the force of loving, and not in being loved – as one already reads in Plato's Banquet. And it is perhaps this active infinitive which, at first glance, seems to be lacking in gratitude. It was said: it is secondary, reactive: in fact, even if expressed or cultivated in the silence of the soul, gratitude always pertains to a relational dynamic in which it has no initiating power: it always manifests itself with respect to something or towards someone, whose action has preceded it. The good has been done – but not by me, who am now placed in the position of welcoming and blessing it without having created it. From a psychological point of view, this position is liable to give rise to a feeling of inferiority, an "unease" comparable to that of the destitute person to whom a subsistence allowance is granted, or to that which anyone experiences when they receive a loan, a subsidy, alms, "humanitarian aid". Your generous help is precious to me, I am grateful to you and thank you – but how I wish I had never needed it! This feeling is never that of the ungrateful person, whose ego is so voracious that they think only of fattening themselves and taking everything for themselves, without worrying about the source of the "gifts", nor the identity, motivations, intentions of those who come to their aid. But the person of conscience can feel "in debt", suffer from being in the position of debtor, and, in order not to experience it as a pain of humiliation, want as quickly as possible to settle the debt, in other words to return to a "logic of gift" in which exchange restores parity.But is this not to forget the "grace" that is in gratitude? If it puts one "to the test", it is not because it indebts me, but because it cracks the armour of pride with which I surround myself to feel strong by myself and invulnerable, and which, in fact, is only a paper armour, a sham, an illusion – for no human being is autonomous and self-sufficient, none can be without others, without a life received, a language received, an education received, a culture received… When the armour crumbles to pieces, one realises that literally gratitude is a receipt, a "certificate" that attests that the sale and purchase did indeed take place, that the invoice has indeed been paid – that I have received as a gift the faculty of becoming a human being from other human beings, that I have received the aptitude to do good from other human beings, who had already done so when I was still incapable. The logic of exchange creates symmetry. Evil, likewise, as it goes in revenge – which, moreover, "infinitises" it, an ever greater evil ever responding to the evil suffered. In gratitude, on the other hand, a relationship is created which Catherine Chalier said to be "asymmetrical": to be grateful is always to respond to an action done for my benefit, but this response is still an awakening of my consciousness, which, shaken certainly by others, can then "see" that good can be done since it has already been done. Ingratitude interrupts like a refusal the moral action, provokes disappointment, regret, makes the good intention of the giver retract like a snail's horn, thus leaving evil the possibility of resuming its deleterious cycles. Gratitude, on the contrary, leaves open the path to good, allows moral action to continue, "gracious", gratuitous and never finished. Strictly speaking, gratitude has nothing to repay – what could one repay to the God who created us? to the parents who educated us? to the masters who trained us? to those one has loved, who loved us and are no longer here? – but through grace it restores and shows to all the beauty that an act of altruism contains and spreads.Robert Maggiori
Proposed by :
Rencontres Philosophiques de Monaco
Location :
Théâtre Princesse Grace